Usually among our families, members are treated as brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, nephews, nieces, mothers, and fathers should be. We accommodate their personalities and differences by changing how we address, tolerate, and revolve our lives within the context of the family. But with executives, it is not the same. Family behavior is not necessarily appropriate in the business. The purpose of the business is to win customers, but some families use the business to provide a field for dysfunctional family behavior. It is well that family members decide where to draw the line between family and business.

In the case where family members are both owners and employees, it is especially essential for them to understand the difference between employee and owner - an owner’s role is different from an employee’s role. One can still be an owner yet not be employed by the organization. Conversely, one can be an employee and not an owner. It is best not to confuse the two, and to understand which role you are in when you are speaking. Good family owners who are also executives realize this and, given the priority of the business, remove themselves from the organization when they realize they are getting in the way. Family executives should jealously guard against family issues negatively affecting the company. Only those of tremendous ego will fail to see the difference and thus will risk the business to support their own egos’ pride. This they do because they do not keep death firmly in mind. If family relations are strong, the business will have an advantage against the competition. If they are weak, the business will be at a disadvantage and much energy will be wasted on issues and concerns that have nothing to do with serving and winning customers. Whichever the case, this will readily be seen by the employees.

Most times it is helpful to bring in an outside mediator to help the family see its role. For in usual family matters, members are met and soon left, to be seen again only on special occasions. But in business, relations cannot be left and seen again later but must be seen constantly day by day. This increases the possibility of family dysfunction infecting the business. If things deteriorate, good executives will hire outside leaders to run the organization while members remove themselves to be a family again. Or they will evolve a level of relationship that allows them to behave as executives without feeling personally attacked. Many good families have been destroyed by their participating in a business together. The Way of the Executive should not allow the business to affect filial duty, or vice versa.

DAILY LIFE: Applying the Code in Your Daily Life
LEADERSHIP: Avoid Abusing Power and Authority
HONOR & RESPECT: Ways of Integrity, Bravery and Honor

Excerpt from the Best-Selling book The Code of the Executive by Don Schmincke